NFL QB's pride themselves on having a "short memory" as in they don't worry about the bad pass from the last play, but instead shift all their focus on the next play. Fantasy Football managers need to do the same. You can't dwell on the past. There are too many freak occurrences. Flukes happen. You need to be like a fish, and forget everything that just happened to you and be ready to go to battle another day. Yes,, be like a fish. Champs and Chumps time baby. 

Cam Newton

Killa Cam keeps his nickname of "God's Son" for another week as he stuck it to the defending Super Bowl Champion Green Bay Packers to the tune of 432 yards passing and another 53 on the ground. He would have led all QB's in scoring if not for 3 picks. No one, myself included, expected Newt to get loose like this on Sunday but Carolina refuses to run the rock. If this trend continues, Newton will finish the season as a top 10 quarterback easily. Makes you wonder why they bothered resigning DeAngelo Williams to that big contract. I'm still trying to figure out why they shelled out all that dough on D when it's obvious he's lost a step. Oh well, this is about Newton, and this boy goes harder then the Ultimate Warrior just starting a fresh roid cycle. Maybe Killa's owner will "allow" him to get tattoo's now to reward him for his good behavior. 


Matthew Stafford

Oh it feels good to own this  country boy on 2 of my teams. Stafford is truly performing like a champ and I see no signs of him slowing up. The receivers are there and now with Jahvid Best at full speed, Staffy has players at every position who can make house calls from anywhere on the field, further increasing his value. Even my boy Tony Scheffler, who is quietly becoming one of the best touchdown celebrators in football, is making big-time plays. 4 touchdown passes? Stafford is a must start every week until he get's injured........which will probably happen soon......

Jason Cambell

The man who seemingly is the definition of mediocrity, Jason Cambell, finally showcased some of the skills that made him a former first round pick some years back. With starters Jacoby Ford and colossal bust Heyward-Bey both missing the game with injury, Cambell went to the Raider's star of the preseason, rookie Denarius Moore. Those two could form an intriguing combo going forward. By the way, Cambell has rushed for a touchdown in Oakland's first 2 games and we all know what a nice bonus that is. Cambell isn't fantasy starter worthy, but on a bye week, or if you lose a Qb to injury, he's not a horrible option. 

P.S. - Sooooooo, the Raiders drafted Heyward-Bey over Crabtree, Maclin, Nicks and Kenny Britt? Crabtree hasn't done much either but he has sure shown more then Bey bey. Oh Al, it huuuuurts buddy. Other then this little snafu, people around the league need to start giving the Raiders some credit for some of their recent drafts. They have talent all over the place, and they could be a problem the next few seasons. Just Win baby!

Tony Romo

Tony, you're my hero! Did you see this guy in his post-game interview? LOL! I can't take this guy seriously, but he can sure sling the rock on any given Sunday. A couple of cracked ribs, and it looked like Dallas's season was going going belly up faster then a trout in sewage water. Next thing you know, Romo is back in, playing with an urgency only matched by Jon Daly slamming the pedal to the medal to get to the nearest 7-11 to re-up on smokes. 

345 yards with 2 touchdowns and no picks is nothing to giggle at and Romo remains a probable top 10 QB. However, his chances of staying in the top 5, which is where I predicted he would end up, took a major blow with Miles Austin re-injuring his hammy, and most likely missing the next 3 games. I wonder if Holley not scoring that touchdown in overtime cost any of you wins last week. If it did, it sucks to be you. There is always next week though guys.

Tom Brady

Brady is a gorgeous man and other then that humiliating video of him trying to dance in Brazil, the guy has a flawless record in life. I didn't want to put Brady in the champ section for the second week in a row but if you throw for over 400 yards, 3 touchdowns, and 0 interceptions, it doesn't leave me much choice. Yep, the man who wifed up Leo's ex is looking like the number 1 QB in fantasy right now, as the Pat's offense is seemingly unstoppable. Get on the train. Chooooo choooooo. 


QB Chumps

Josh Freeman

Whyyyyyyy? I truly believed Freeman would take the next step this season but so far the kid has been shooting blanks. It's true that Tampa didn't add any weapons for Freeman in the offseason, so the 3rd down back is still Ernest Graham! ERNEST GRAHAM?? Really guys? Enough. That being said the Buc's still have Mike Williams, Benn, and Winslow along with a couple decent slot options and that should be enough to get it done. How's this working out so far? Not so good. Mike Williams had 1 catch for NEGATIVE 4 yards on Sunday. Tampa Bay has looked abysmal for 5/8 quarters this season and there is no way they improve upon last year's 10-6 record. 

I'm going to give this chump one more shot this week, and probably rank him near the top 10 but if he bricks, which he very well could do, I may never be able to recommend starting him again. When you chump once it's whatev's but  when you chump twice in a row it's a problem and right now Tampa's offense looks lamer then that new TV show, "The Playboy Club." If you have another option who I rank close to or higher then Freeman, don't hesitate to sit the big guy until he get's his mind right. Josh, cut it out man. Stop being a CHUMP.

Chad Henne

Well, well, well. What a shock. Chad Henne moving over from the champ list to the chump list. Whoever could have predicted such a thing? Let's be honest with ourselves here: Henne is garbage. Absolute trash. I witnessed much of Sunday's game and "the Chad" was hardly even taking heat. That coupled with the fact that the Texans star cornerback, Jonathan Joseph, was hurt for most of the game, should have led to a big performance. It didn't. Why you ask? Because Hen-dog is like Jim Carrey when he takes on a serious role; painfully excruciating to watch. 10 fantasy points is unacceptable. Going 12/30? Also a disgrace. I feel bad for this guy's family. 

On a positive note, Brandon Marshall found the end-zone after stiff arming the bejeezus out some weak minded db. I didn't go back and look at the tape but I'm guessing it was former Dolphin first round pick, Jason Allen. Can anyone tell me how this bum is still in the NFL? Anytime he's in a game he is attacked constantly. There is most likely a reason for that and the reason is most likely not because the QB likes a challenge. Chad Henne. Jason Allen. Guess what guys? You're both chumps. It's not like we didn't know. Embrace your chumpness.

Joe Flacco

If I ever have to listen to ESPN's John Clayton talk about Flacco being an "elite" quarterback again I'll throw my remote at the TV. 7 fantasy points? How's that for elite Johnny? I think "the Professor" has been hanging out at too many of those emo coffee shops in Seattle. By the way, where is Clayton's former adversary Sean Salisbury? I used to love hearing Salisbury tell Clayton what a nerd he was and then hear Clayton fire back with some comment about how worthless Salisbury was at QB. PLEASE BRING HIM BACK!

Back to Joey. How can you go from looking like the man we all hoped you could be one week, to this gutter rat the next? I have no patience for QB's like this in fantasy I would never feel comfortable starting Flacco as a number 1. He couldn't make anything happen against a Titan's defense that gave up 16 points to the utterly disgraceful Jaguars. The Ravens let a lot of people down this week. . How will Flacco respond? Who knows, but for now he's a chump in my book. 


Matt Cassel

  I thought for a second Cassel went ghost on us and disappeared being that when I looked up the fantasy scoring leaders I saw a lot of backups who didn't play with zero's by their name's, but no Cassel. I was unsure what to think about this conundrum, and finally made the decision to put on my detective hat and dig a little deeper. Low and behold, Cassel was on the next page of QB's, below every QB but Luke McCown, with an astonishing -3 points. Yes, you read that correctly my friends. Negative 3 points. Now, McCown, who I have previously verbally throttled in my articles, is not getting a section today because he is totally fantasy irrelevant, but I know for a fact there are some of you nincompoop's who actually have Cassel on your roster. 

Don't say I didn't warn you! Look back at my pre-season rankings. I have Cassel way down the list and I was openly questioned by some readers. I still have no idea how he put up those numbers last season, but I promise you it will never happen again. The odds of Kansas City not drafting a quarterback in next year's draft are on par with Jean Claude Van Damme once again becoming a huge box office draw. On that note, why is Jason Statham still getting lead roles in films? I'd much rather see Van-Damme roundhouse kick some folks. Even better, I'd love to see Van-Damme roundhouse kick Matt Cassel. Drop him or else. He's a chump.


RB Champs


Adrian Peterson

That's the A.P. we all know and love. 120 yards and 2 touchdowns should be a given anytime this freak of nature get's the rock 25 times a game. The man truly is a workhorse and I feel bad that he is stuck in Minnesota, who by my marks, is years away from contending. Last week Peterson had a ho-hum game and never found the end zone which had many fantasy owners fretting over their decision to take the Oklahoma product. I liken Peterson to Zack Morris from "Saved by the Bell." Extremely consistent and hardly, if ever, let's you down. Make sure you check out "Dead Man on Campus," a movie Mark-Paul Gosselaar starred in, if you haven't seen it. Priceless. Absolutely priceless. 

Fred Jackson

Slow down Fred you're killin em!!! 15 carries for 117 yards and 2 touchdowns? Against what I thought was a solid Oakland run defense? My boy Freddy Jackson exposed Oakland's swiss cheese like defense, and further annoyed C.J. Spiller owners who want the second year player on the field. Why did they draft Spiller again? You have to think that maybe the pick should have been used elsewhere but hey, it's Buffalo and their wily, old geezer of an owner Ralph Wilson is a true wild card. The Bills are looking like a problem for the rest of the division and for the first time in a while, looks to have a bright future. Jackson is a must start every week. 

Jahvid Best

Best just looks so pretty out there doesn't he? He's just the perfect back for that offense is a monster in ppr leagues. He caught a touchdown pass and even stuck one in from a yard out. That has to give owners some hope that the Lions will continue to use Best in goal line situations going forward, though I doubt they will do so. "He da Best" is a threat to go crib any time he get's his hands on the ball and I'm truly enjoying having him on 2 of my teams at this moment. Ride the wave baby. Best is looking like a steal at this point and a must start every week. 

LeSean McCoy

Like Abraham Lincoln, I cannot tell a lie, and LeSean McCoy looks like one of the best 3-4 running backs in football to me right now. His cutting ability is truly exquisite and he look's to be on the verge of a monster year. McCoy has taken advantage of his opportunities around the goal line and has punched them in for touchdowns. I was concerned "Big Bad" Ronnie Brown might steal some of his short yardage carries but that hasn't been the case whatsoever. As a matter of fact Ron Ron looks horrible, and that's good news for McCoy owners. I feel for you if you took someone like MJD over him. He who hesitates, misses out.

LeGarrette Blount

Blount was smokin Sunday as he scored 2 touchdowns and ran for 71 yards on only 13 carries. He whined all week about not getting the ball enough and it seems like it paid off. He's not a running back I'd feel comfortable owning but the man does produce. Getting only 13 carries is not a good sign but I'm positive he will get more then that going forward. Congrats Blount, your a champ this week buddy. 


RB Chumps

Arian Foster 

Don't you love when a guy keeps coming back too soon from injury, over and over again? Why couldn't Foster have just sat out the entire pre-season after aggravating the hammy instead of coming back and trying to test it? What do you know, he did it again last week, making fantasy owners start him, fully believing that he must be healthy. This is what chumps are made of. Just take a seat Arian. Stop playing with our emotions. 

This is exactly why I avoided drafting Foster in any fantasy league. Hamstring injuries are nothing to play with and it looks like it will be a lingering problem all year. If you drafted Foster in the first round and didn't get Ben Tate, your chances of taking home the title are about on par with "Bucky Larson" making 100 million at the box office. That movie looks really awful. Then again, there seems to be many a person who thought former "Happy Madison" project, "Grandma's Boy" was hilarious, so maybe Bucky is a success and maybe Arian comes back in the second half of the year and dominates. Or maybe the people that think that movie is a classic are morons and Arian finishes with less then 500 yards rushing this year. It could go either way. Dear Arian, I get on my knee's and thank the good lord I didn't draft you this year. Why? Because you're a chump. 

Reggie Bush

Reggie, when I look into your soul I see nothing but chump. You should get chump tattooed underneath your eyelids, where you used to post the San Diego area code when you were at USC collecting illegal benefits. Putting faith in Reggie Bush is like giving an active crack head 10,000 dollars and hoping they use that money to go to rehab. We all saw what happened to Ted Williams the "golden voice." Actually, what the hell did happen to that guy??

Hey Reg, what hurts more? The fact that you are being forced to give back your Heisman trophy award, that you destroyed the hopes the current USC football players had of one day playing in a bowl game, or that your ex-wifey has been passed around the professional athlete world and ridden like the village bicycle? This dude is more washed up then "Boner" from Growing Pains. Disappear Reggie. Really, go away. You're a chump. 

Chris Johnson

CJ2K!! Um, yea those days are long gone my friends. 2 weeks in a row on the chump list? That's gotta hurt bud. Another player I advised people to stay away from. I just don't like when guys hold out. They just never seem quite right for that particular season. Now, I'm sure he will break out one of these games, maybe even next week, but Johnson is looking about as elusive as Bette Midler cradling the rock right now. The Titans got a big win agains Baltimore this past week and their run d could be a big reason why Johnson got stuffed like a turkey on thanksgiving, so maybe it was just the matchup. But for now, Johnson is 2 time chump. Could he go for the 3-peat next week????

DeAngelo Williams

Why on earth did Carolina seem so scared about losing this guy? He was injured all last season, and they drafted Jonathan Stewart in the top 20 a few years back, seemingly to be William's replacement. Add that to the fact the Panthers are spreading it out and running less then one would think possible when having a rookie Qb in there, and one would get the feeling that Williams just isn't what he once was. Just another one of the ridiculous expenditures the Panthers made this offseason. Stewart is looking like the better option in the receiving game so until further notice, starting Williams is about as Risky as letting your grandfather go on all day outing without his "depends," on. 

Felix Jones

Felix!! What do you know, Jones bricking like Danny McBride in his last few movie roles. Considering I predicted this perennial underachiever to go over a hundred yards with a touchdown this week and he finished with 25 yards, he had to make this list. Anytime you make me look bad, they're is a pretty good chance you make this list. I take things very personally. Maybe I should cut Jones some slack this week? He did separate his shoulder. No, I don't think I will. I've had enough of this guy. Chump city baby. Start at your own risk. 

WR Champs

 Miles Austin

"Sir" Miles, simply put is my favorite wide receiver in football. I explained our connection in a previous article. Yea, you should look that up if you get a chance. The man is Fantasy football royalty and one of the greatest stories of all time based on the fact that he came out of nowhere a few years back. Putting the Cowboys on his back, Austin had 9 catches for 143 yards and THREE touchdowns. That's riiiiiiiiight( in my Young jeezy voice), 3 scores. This performance was truly heroic and one  that most likely led his respective owners to fantasy wins this week. Sir Miles will always have a special place in my heart. Unfortunately for his owners, Austin aggravated his hamstring injury and is going to miss the next few weeks. Not good. But for this week, Austin should be praised for being the champion that he is. 

Vincent Jackson

Just like DJ Qualls in "The New Guy," Vincent Jackson went from Chump to Champ in one week's time. Impressive, yet it was expected considering this man-beast has top 5 receiver potential. The incredible one handed catch V-Jax made for his second touchdown of the day had both men and women alike worshipping him like a God. I can't blame them. Expect nothing less than greatness from this charged up horse. 

Jeramy Maclin

Miggity, miggity, miggity, miggity Mac. Miggity, miggity, miggity Mac! Mac Daddy or Daddy Mac; The nickname you prefer is irrelevant. Maclin's performance was anything but. 13 catches for 171 and 2 house calls!!! That's what I call a game baby. Now, I know Daddy-Mac displayed some chumpish behavior when he dropped that easy 4th down reception that cost Philly a chance at the game, but this is fantasy baby, not real life. So unless you lost by one point, or are an Eagles fanatic, you really shouldn't care. Maclin stepped up for DeSean Jackson who gave one of his all-time chump performances but we will get to that guy later. Maclin looks legit moving forward. Get your shine on boy!

Denarius Moore

Yea yea yea, he's so haaaaard. Moore looked like a future star on Sunday and showed that his preseason success was no fluke. This dude is the definition of realness. That 50 yard bomb he caught for a TD was absolutely insane. I hope Heyward "Baby nuts" Bey was taking notes on the sideline on what a real receiver should look like. Going forward Moore is a must add. He may not repeat this performance but I wouldn't say that it's impossible. Moore is looking like absolute steal for the Raiders and after this week people will be scurrying to add him. If you're in last place, do the right thing and pick him up. There is major upside here and I can't see "baby Huey" Jackson not starting this freak-a-leak. 

Eric Decker 

Oh what a feeling. I've been telling people Deck was a deep sleeper the last few months and just like Janet Jackson asked for, Decker justified my love. He is legit and should be starting for Denver for the foreseeable future as Eddie Royal is injured for a while. Brandon Lloyd will most likely be back but Decker has big play potential to go with his spider man-like hands. They call him the "Great White Hope" for a reason guys. Get up on it before it's too late. 

Larry Fitzgerald

You knew they couldn't hold down Larry forever and he erupted for 133 yards and a touchdown. This man cannot and will not be stopped, especially with Kevin Kolb now throwing him the pig. And guess what else? The man is getting his degree online at University of Phoenix and probably getting paid handsomely to do so. Oh the boy hustles hard and you can't not respect the guy. Get your money Larry. Could go down as top 5 receiver of all time. Kudos Larry. Kudos.

WR Chumps

Mike Williams

1 catch for -4 yards? "Life with Mikey" doesn't look very fun right now for fantasy owners. It had to huuuuurt seeing Williams make an amazing catch in the end zone only to have it called back because of a penalty. There are no excuses as to why this baller isn't getting the rock. Based on the lack of weapons that Tampa has, Williams should be leading the NFL in targets. Instead he's leading the league in sucking. Mike, I love you buddy, but I got to call you out. You were a straight up chump this week, and cost one of my opponents any chance of beating me. So thank you, I guess.

Robert Meachem

I used to refer to this chump as "Big Meach," but after this week's performance maybe we should call him trash. "Little Meach" was supposed to produce in a major way without Marques Colston in the lineup and instead responded with 4 grabs for a peon like 10 yards. He saved face with a 4 yard touchdown reception but it's safe to say that playing this guy is about as risky as leaving swimming with a bunch of great white sharks. Don't start him unless you have to.

Anquan Boldin

3 catches for 46 yards is not what peeps were hoping for after last week's solid performance. Going against a seemingly soft Titans teams seemed to favor Boldin putting up some big numeros. Maybe this is why Larry Fitzgerald got all the money and this guy has been collecting peanuts in comparison his whole career. Part of the blame is on Flacco. Hell, probably most of the blame, but when you have Quan Quan as your number 1 or 2 receiver you need and expect points. Many were predicting a possible top 5 season for the former Florida State QB but I don't see it. Better luck next game Chump!

DeSean Jackson

Is this why Jackson hasn't gotten paid yet? Is Maclin a better all around receiver? I'd say yes. Jackson is the home run hitter but when he's not hitting homers he's completely useless. In fantasy you can live or die with this dude and he caused many a fantasy casualty this past week. I saw him in the locker room and he had earrings bigger then P. Diddy's to go along with a chain that would make Gucci Mane jealous. So Icey, So Icey. So that's why he needs that cash money. To pay for all them Jewels he bought. Looks like him and Dez Bryant have a lot in common. Let's just hope for our sake these guy's don't ruin their lives until after many solid years in the league. Fantasy needs them. Jackson will bounce back because he's a money hungry solider from Cali, but this week he let a lot of folks down. For that he gets the chump stamp.

TE Champs

Tony Gonzalez 

I predicted a top 10 performance but this was incredible. The only thing hotter then Tony's game on Sunday night football is his wife, who gives me that good old fashioned feeling......where I'd do anything to b@ne her! That one handed grab in the back of the end zone most likely won a few games for the people out there ballsy enough to start the crafty old vet. Tony, you will always be a champ in my eyes based on your wife alone, but what you did this week was incredible. Try his protein!! I hear it's to die for!

Rob Gronkowski

All this guy does is make big plays. I alway's preferred Hernandez because he gets a bit more receptions, but this man-child let's nothing slip through his fingers and has a knack for finding the end zone. You have to respect his grind and now that Hernandez is going to miss a couple weeks Gronkowski should be the number 1 or 2 tight end the next couple weeks. Trust me, he's that real in the streeeeeets and pretty fly for a white guy. 

Dustin Keller

The most underrated tight end in the game. This guy is a must start in ten team leagues. Put him in the game coach, and he's going to win the game coach. You need Kellz to win the game coach. Recognize real talent when you see it. 

Fred Davis

Another one of my spot on predictions. Freddy D. is one of the most athletic tight ends in football and other then Santana Moss, is Washington's most dangerous target. Now that Chris "I've been done for years" Cooley is the backup, sky's the limit for Davis. Champ city.

TE Chumps

Antonio Gates

When you draft Antonio Gates in the 4th round I'm sure your not expecting any 0 catch performances, which is exactly what Gates produced against the Patriots. Yep, goose egg city baby. I know it huuuurts, but you need to move on. Forget about it. It won't happen again..........unless he's secretly hurt........I never thought I'd be calling Gates a chump but that's exactly what he performed like this week. 

Vernon Davis

VERN!!!!! AGAIN???? I drafted this bust in 2 leagues in the 5th or 6th round and it looks like it might end up costing me dearly. Grabbing a QB or another wideout there or even another tight end for that matter, would have greatly improved my chances at glory this season. 2 catches for 18 yards? Looks like Jimmy Harbaugh wants to ruin the career of one of the greatest weapons in football. Davis is most likely the fastest tight end in NFL history is a playmaker any team in the league would love to have, yet they used him mostly as a blocker against Dallas and it probably cost them the victory. Harbaugh, go back to Stanford D-bag. We don't want you here. You've turned a stud into a dud or better yet a champ into a chump. . 

Zach Miller(Seahawks)

Don't you dare start this guy for the rest of the season. Trust me. Just don't do it. 

Champ Defense

The Tennessee Titans for shutting down Baltimore. I would give it to Detroit but Kansas City is a joke. Same goes for Jacksonville of the Jets could have had the honor. 

Chump Defense

The Baltimore Ravens dropped a negative on us! Thanks guys. They let the cupcake Titans beast all over them. Never again. 

Kicker

WHO CARES. All kickers are chumps.

Check in with me next week for champs and chumps week 3 and make sure you read all my other articles for fantasy info and just football info in general. Glad to have football back in my life. Until next week baaaaby baaaby. 

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