What would you do if you had a time machine?  Would you stop Abraham Lincoln from being assassinated?  Would you have dinner with Jesus?  Would you invent Facebook?  All of these are good ideas, but what if you could only go back in time a few months?  (New rule: You can’t just go back and win the lottery—that’s cheating and it disrupts the time stream too drastically.)  One thing you could do, is kick butt in your fantasy football draft.  Just print out this page that ranks players based off of what we know today and keep it in your pocket at all times so that you’ll be ready when you find that time machine.

1. Aaron Rodgers (QB1)
He’s virtually a lock for 300+ yards and three TDs every week.

2. LeSean McCoy (RB1)
Averaging 115 yards from scrimmage and one touchdown per game… and the Eagles offense could be playing better.

3. Ray Rice (RB2)
Ray Rice is a running back from Rutgers who runs for the Ravens.  Say that ten times fast.  (You don’t really have to.)

4. Darren McFadden (RB3)
J-Camp or no J-Camp, Run DMC isn’t slowing down.

5. Adrian Peterson (RB4)
Imagine how good Adrian Peterson would be if he played on the (insert name of your favorite team).  (Note: This doesn’t work if your favorite team is the Colts.)

6. Matt Forte (RB5)
Don’t worry about paying this guy, Chicago; it’s not like he’s your entire offense or anything.

7. Calvin Johnson (WR1)
Looks like he’s even better when a real quarterback is throwing to him (no offense Drew Stanton).

8. Wes Welker (WR2)
I wonder how good Welker would be if Sanchez, not Brady, was his quarterback.

9. Fred Jackson (RB6)
He’s the best of the NFL Jackson 5 (Fred, Vincent, DeSean, Steven, and Tarvaris).

10. Michael Turner (RB7)
The Burner is on fire.  As predicted.

11. Frank Gore (RB8)
If he doesn’t get really hurt, he’s a top five fantasy RB.  That’s still a big if.

12. Mike Wallace (WR3)
Did you know that his first name is really Burnell?  Burnell Wallace…that sounds cooler.


13. Tom Brady (QB2)
He already has twice as many picks as he did last year, but he's still the second best QB in the league.

14. Greg Jennings (WR4)
One of the many beneficiaries of the fine quarterback play of Mr. Rodgers.

15. Steve Smith (WR5)
For a season there, he was the "other Steve Smith."

16. Ryan Mathews (RB9)
So much for RB by committee in San Diego.  Breakout year for Mathews.

17. Maurice Jones-Drew(RB10)
It's not easy being a Jacksonville Jaguar.  It's also not easy scoring touchdowns if you're a Jacksonville Jaguar.

18. Beanie Wells (RB11)
Six TDs in four games!  How long before he gets a season-ending injury though?

19. Drew Brees (QB3)
Since they can't run the ball, Brees just throws it a million times a game.  Actually, he attempts an average of 44 passes per game-- that's still a lot.

20. Andre Johnson (WR6)
Hurry back, Andre!  They're trying to replace you with Derek Mason!

21. Ahmad Bradshaw (RB12)
10th in rushing attempts in the league.  A very low-level RB 1, or a solid RB 2.

22. Arian Foster (RB13)
It's hard to believe he was the best player in fantasy football last year.

23. Cam Newton (QB4)
More rushing TDs than Maurice Jones-Drew and more passing TDs than Philip Rivers.  Who would've thought that'd be the case going into the year?

24. Hakeem Nicks (WR7)
On pace for more yards than he had last year.  More touchdowns would be nice.


25. Jimmy Graham (TE1)
Forget Antonio Gates.  Forget Jason Witten.  Jimmy Graham is third in the NFL in receiving yards.

26. Michael Vick (QB5)
He's not the same player he was last season, but we knew he wouldn't be.  Still a top fantasy QB.

27. Dwayne Bowe (WR8)
The Chiefs might be awful, but that hasn't stopped Bowe from totaling four touchdowns in the Chiefs' past three games.

28. Matthew Stafford (QB6)
Someone's got to throw Megatron the ball.  Don't get hurt this year, Stafford.

29. Chris Johnson (RB14)
What the hell happened to CJ2K?

30. A.J. Green (WR9)
Brady & Welker.  Stafford & Johnson.  Dalton & Green?

31. Tony Romo (QB7)
Luckily, being a goat does not factor into fantasy football scoring.

32. Cedric Benson (RB15)
He's nothing special, but he's a clear starter.  The man's also got good lawyers-- I don't think Goodell's going to be able to suspend him.

33. Miles Austin (WR10)
If he doesn't miss those games, I have a feeling he's a lot higher on this list.

34. Rashard Mendenhall (RB16)
One of the biggest busts so far this year.  He finally showed something this week against the Jaguars.

35. DeSean Jackson (WR11)
He's hit or miss.  As expected.

36. Darren Sproles (RB17)
This guy does everything.

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