1. Aaron Rodgers

How can A-Rod be this good? Maybe he looks at those pictures Brett Favre sent to Jenn Sterger and says to himself, "I can be better than this!" Everyone has their own ways of getting motivated and Rodgers has used these photos to put himself on record setting pace. Kudos to him. 
2. Phillip RIvers

3 interceptions Sunday afternoon, but the fantasy numbers were still pretty sexy. What's wrong with Rivers you ask? I have no idea, but I do know that I would continue to start him every single week if I owned him. I'm a believer. Tim Tebow has made me a religious man. 

3. Tim Tebow

Men want to be him and women want to be with him. Tebow AKA Jesus was put on this earth strictly for fantasy football. Teb's just puts up numbers. It's that simple. Don't hesitate to insert this stallion in your lineup. 

4. Matt Moore

I've heard many an analyst talking bad about Moore the past few weeks, like the Dolphins problems are all his fault. I'm going to keep it real with you for a moment; Matt Moore is not a horrible quarterback. He's truly not that bad. As far as backup QB's go in the NFL, I wouldn't mind having him at all. Can you say "sleeper alert?" I'm kidding. Don't even consider starting this bum. He's still better than Casey Clausen though. 

1. Matt Schaub

I was just thinking the other day that it's weird you don't see too many balding QB's. Then I remembered Schauby, the guy who seemed destined for fantasy stardom 2 season ago but is now just paid to hand the ball off. Why they refuse to bring in another receiver, I will never understand, but Dre Dre should be back soon and that will make Schaub startable again. Until Johnson is for sure playing I would bench Schaub for almost any QB in the league. 

2. Tarvaris Jackson

T-jax was coming off a career high in throwing yards last week against the Bungals. How did he follow that gem? WIth an absolute dud. The odds of Jackson becoming a dependable starter at the NFL level are on par with Skeet Ulrich's chances on winning an oscar. 

3. Colt McCoy

It's time for the Walrus AKA Mike Holmgren to move on and take McCoy with him. No viable receivers and a bad rushing attack is the recipe for awful play from this young QB.

4. Curtis Painter

This guy looks more like a porn star than a professional athlete but I'm guessing he lacks the necessary talents to make it in that business either. To be frank, Painter is the worst starting quarterback in the NFL other than maybe Blaine Gabbert, but at least Gabby has some upside. Watching Painter make one horrific throw after another is painful to watch. How about those golden locks of his though huh? Absolutely gorgeous. 

1. Willis McGahee

What the hell happened to the Raiders defense? They made McGahee look like Adrian Peterson, as he burst through glory holes untouched and went house twice. It must be hard for Knowshon Moreno to look at himself in the mirror. What does it feel like having a washed up veteran take all your carries you ask? It huuuuuuurts. 

2. Reggie Bush

Reg-gie, Reg-gie, Reg-gie! Bush is a beautiful man. You would know this if you have seen any of his countless shirtless magazine spreads or his classic Domino's pizza ads. Rumor has it that Bush was hyped up because his ex boo, Kim Kardashian is getting a divorce. He showed Kim that he still has what it takes to take it hard and strong to the hole. I pray they rekindle their romance. 

3. Arian Foster

Nobody looks smoother on the football field than this gazelle. It's a thing of beauty watching Foster in the open field, shaking would-be-tacklers like fleas. Let's hope you didn't panic and trade this stud when he started the year injured. 

4. Marshawn Lynch 

Beast Mode!!!


1. Beanie Wells

3 points against the disastrously bad Rams defense? Um yea, that's not cool Beans. Looks like the knee is going to be problematic for the rest of the season. It's time to jump ship faster than if you were a teenage boy on a sailboat with Jerry Sandusky(again? YES) and Michael Jackson. 

2. Ryan Grant

I saw this coming before the season began. Don't you dare think about starting this cluck. He is about as relevant as Macaulay Culkin. 

3. Chris Ogbonnaya

Yes, I really started Ogbonnaya this week, and yes I was on suicide watch afterwards. I wrote this, so obviously I'm still alive. Close call. 


 1. Vincent Jackson

3 touchdowns and over 140 yards? Yes please!! Where has this been the past 4 weeks? The man goes 6 '5 and 230 lbs and has blazing speed. You'd think he'd be getting the piggy more than he has been. He's long, strong, and down to get the friction on. 

2. Julio Jones

Julio played like the lord's only son on Sunday, making two incredible plays, both for touchdowns. This is why I loved the trade Atlanta made with Cleveland on draft day. Who cares if you add a little depth? You don't have Julio Jones. You have Greg Little. I would hate myself if I was from Cleveland. 

3. Jacoby Ford

Finally! Ford finally seems at full speed and looks like he has a special connection with Carson Palmer. Make it last boys. 


1. Darius Heyward-Bey

For those of you who start Heyward-Bey, I offer you a bit of advice. Don't do it again. 

2. Dez Bryant

It baffles me that Bryant hasn't established himself as a premier receiver in this league. The numbers just don't support the talent and I want some answers. He fumbled on the 1 yard line this week, giving him a pedestrian 5 points. It must be all that jewelry debt going through his mind. 

3. Reggie Wayne

Wayne is getting less respect than Anthony Wiener's wife right now and it must be killing him inside. This is not how men from "The U" perform. I'd say Wayne is almost cuttable at this point. 

1. Rob Gronkowski

Gronk is a beast and is Brady's favorite weapon other than Welker. Consider yourself lucky to own such a fine specimen. Did u see his shirtless pics with the porn star chick? Dude has most definitely been hitting the bow flex like a maniac. 

2. Antonio Gates

He's back! Gates finally looked good this past week, and will continue to be Rivers's go-to guy going forward. Yaaaay!

1. Vernon Davis

2 points is not what you expect every week when you select a tight end in the 5th round. When drafting Davis I should have taken the same advice Herman Caine was given and failed to take: Look but don't touch. 

2. Scott Chandler

What's it like being Scotty Chandler? Who Cares.