Last Updated: Sep 18, 2012 10:54 AM
Time for Week 2 of Champs and Chumps!
Who carried your fantasy team to victory? Who doomed you to defeat? Who did you bench at the last second that you should’ve started? (I’m looking at you, Michael Vick!)
Enough jibber jabber! Let’s get to it, ladies and gents!
Eli Manning: 510 pass yds, 3 pass TDs, 3 INTs, -2 rush yds
Greg Schiano does not like the DirecTV Sunday Ticket Fairy. That is because the DirecTV Sunday Ticket Fairy embarrassed him.
Robert Griffin III: 206 pass yds, pass TD, INT, 82 rush yds, 2 rush TDs
RG3 is already the best fantasy football player ever who was born in Japan.
Sam Bradford: 310 pass yds, 3 pass TDs, INT, 10 rush yds
You didn’t start him this week, but he probably did better than the guy you did start. Ha, ha, you’re a fool.
Jay Cutler: 126 pass yds, pass TD, 4 INTs, 12 rush yds
If you played in the NFL (and there’s a chance that if you’re reading this you actually do play in the NFL), is there any player you’d want to be on your team less than Cry Baby Cutler?
Aaron Rodgers: 219 pass yds, pass TD, INT, -6 rush yds
Looks like the robot version of Aaron Rodgers who played for the Packers last year has been replaced by the real, human Aaron Rodgers.
Matt Schaub: 195 pass yds, -3 rush yds
As long as Arian Foster and Ben Tate exist, is he really a fantasy football starter? Answer: No.
Hakeem Nicks: 199 rec yds, rec TD AND Victor Cruz: 179 rec yds, rec TD
Somewhere out there, there is a moron who starts Manning, Nicks, and Cruz on his fantasy team every week. Well, it looks like this week he was a lucky moron.
Dwayne Bowe: 102 rec yds, 2 rec TDs
It doesn’t matter if they’re garbage-time scores in Fantasy Land. And when I say Fantasy Land, I am talking about the imaginary land of fantasy football in which we all reside, not the Fantasyland Skate Center Roller Rink in McAllen, Texas. (Though I am sure it is a fantastic skate center.)
Brandon Marshall: 24 rec yds
I could’ve caught that pass in the end zone. However, I could probably not make an NFL roster as a wide receiver. Actually, I would be the No. 2 wideout for the Jets. The Jets need me.
Andre Johnson: 21 rec yds
As long as Arian Foster and Ben Tate exist, is he really a fantasy football starter? Answer: Yes, but he’s going to disappoint you all year.
Kevin Ogletree: 5 rush yds, 26 rec yds
You can drop him now.
C.J. Spiller: 123 rush yds, 2 rush TDs, 47 rec yds
The cup runneth over for Spiller owners.
Trent Richardson: 109 rush yds, rush TD, 36 rec yds, rec TD
Everyone who traded him after his 39 yards on 19 carries performance in Week 1 feels very silly at the moment.
Reggie Bush: 172 rush yds, 2 rush TDs, 25 rec yds
Reggie Bush (fake) dated Kim Kardashian so I have no respect for him. I root for him to fail.
Chris Johnson: 17 rush yds, 11 rec yds
Stop complaining. Play better.
Darren McFadden: 22 rush yds, 19 rec yds
Yikes, everyone who picked in the middle of their draft wasn’t too happy with their first round pick this week.
Shonn Greene: 23 rush yds
The Jets benched him. So should you.
Dante Rosario: 48 rec yds, 3 rec TDs
I called it!
Vernon Davis: 73 rec yds, 2 rec TDs
Alex Smith looks good. This is very good for Vernon Davis owners. Very, very good.
Jermichael Finley: 26 rec yds, fumble
The most overrated tight end in football is also the most overrated tight end in fantasy football.
Greg Olsen: 13 rec yds
There are too many better scoring options on this team. Dump him and go add Martellus Bennett or Dennis Pitta.
Jason Hanson: 1/1 FG 30-39 yds, 3/4 FG 40-49 yds, 1/1 XP
Lions’ fans weren’t too happy to see Hanson kick field goals all night long. Hanson owners, however, were quite happy.
Billy Cundiff: 0/1 FG 50+, 4/4 XP
Cundiff made four field goals and four extra points Week 1 in New Orleans. This week, he only nailed four extra points. Looks like we’ve got a case of fool’s gold here!
The views and content in this article are not necessarily the opinion of Fantasy Football Champs, www.FFChamps.com, and its in-house experts.